When It's Hard to Believe God Loves You

How to Heal the Broken Places That Block His Love

Opening Prayer

Father God, we invite You into this time. We ask for Your Spirit to uncover every lie that has buried the truth of Your love. Let the walls fall, the numbness lift, and the pain be held by Your presence. Speak to every hidden place within and reveal Yourself—not just as God, but as Abba Father.

Break through trauma, disappointment, fear, and mistrust. Let this be a holy moment where belief begins to rise again—not because of what we feel, but because of who You are. Let truth replace torment, intimacy replace indifference, and love replace fear.

In the mighty Name of Jesus, Amen.

The Ache Beneath the Surface

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. —Psalm 34:18, NKJV

There's a kind of ache that hides itself well. It doesn't always scream with obvious pain. Sometimes, it just shows up as distance. Numbness. A subtle belief that God is good… but not really good to you.


This post is for the one who knows the verses but can't feel the truth. For the one who's been told God is love, yet that truth hasn't pierced the fortress built by life's disappointments. It's for the soul who's weary of trying to "feel" God and secretly wonders if He's grown tired of them too.


Let's be honest—believing in God's love isn't always easy. Especially when life has been anything but kind. Especially when the people who were supposed to love us well didn't. Especially when we've fallen again, doubted again, or stayed silent in our pain.

But God's love is not like theirs.

His love doesn't fluctuate with your performance. It doesn't withdraw when you're messy or inconsistent. It doesn't require you to have it all together before you approach His throne. The very places where you feel most unlovable are often the places He's most eager to meet you.

Sometimes we bow our heads not in prayer, but in quiet pain—still hoping He’ll meet us there.

What Do You Really Believe About God's Love?

Healing starts with honesty. Sometimes our theology says "God is love," but our internal narrative says, "I'm too much," "I'm not enough," or "I've gone too far." We need to get honest about the belief systems shaping our expectations of God.

Ask yourself: What do you believe about God's love for the world—and what do you believe about His love for you?

Do you feel you need to perform, be perfect, or stay strong to be loved? When you hear "God loves you," does it stir comfort or confusion? Numbness or resistance?

Have you ever secretly believed: "God probably loves others more than He loves me"?

Let these questions sit with you. Don't rush to "fix" your answers. Sometimes God sits with us in the ache—long before we have answers. He doesn’t rush the healing. He draws near. He's not afraid of your doubt. He's not threatened by your struggle to believe. In fact, He often uses our questions as doorways to deeper intimacy.

The truth is, many of us have been carrying around a version of God that looks suspiciously like the people who hurt us. We project their limitations, their conditional love, their disappointment onto the One who is perfect love. But God is not your absent father. He's not the friend who abandoned you. He's not the voice of shame that still echoes in your soul.

Wounds and Walls – What's Blocking the Flow of Love?

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
—Psalm 147:3, NKJV

God's love hasn't stopped flowing. But past wounds, betrayal, or rejection often become walls that block us from receiving it. These walls weren't built overnight, and they won't come down overnight either. But they can come down.


Let's go deeper: Who taught you love was earned, unsafe, or inconsistent? When you think of a father, what rises in your heart—safety or silence? Warmth or fear? Have you ever prayed and felt like heaven stayed silent? How did that affect your view of God? Were you ever told God was angry with you, punishing you, or disappointed?


We often see God through the filter of our most painful memories. But here's what I want you to know: God is not the person who hurt you. His love is not fragile. It doesn't flinch when you fall. It doesn't withdraw when you're at your worst. His love is the one constant in a world full of variables.


The wounds in your story don't disqualify you from His love—they qualify you for His tenderness. He specializes in broken hearts. He's drawn to the humble, the hurting, the ones who know they need Him. Your brokenness isn't something to hide from God; it's something to bring to Him.

Trust and Intimacy – Rebuilding Relationship

Love requires trust. But if trust has been broken—by people, by church, by unanswered prayers—how do you begin again? This is where intimacy is rebuilt. Not through striving, but surrender.


What would it feel like to fully trust God again? What scares you about being vulnerable with Him?

If Jesus sat across from you right now, what would you need Him to say to help you believe you're loved?

What are you still protecting yourself from emotionally?

You don't have to "work your way" back to God. He's not pacing, waiting for you to prove yourself. He's the Father running toward the prodigal. The Shepherd leaving the ninety-nine. The Friend who stays when everyone else walks away.

Love is not just a concept. It's a Person. And He is near.

Trust doesn't happen all at once. It happens in moments. In the quiet whisper during your morning coffee. In the unexpected provision when you needed it most. In the peace that doesn't make sense given your circumstances. God understands that trust must be rebuilt brick by brick, and He's patient with the process.

Agreements and Strongholds – Breaking the Lies

Our thoughts shape our lives. And the enemy is a master at planting lies that sound like self-protection but are really spiritual bondage. Have you ever said (even silently), "I'm too broken," "I don't deserve God's love," or "He's disappointed in me"? Do you feel guilty when you enjoy God's presence—like you haven't earned it?


Have you made vows like "I'll never trust again" or "I'll take care of myself from now on"? Are there false identities you've worn—unlovable, forgotten, unworthy


These are agreements with darkness that must be broken. Not just in emotion, but with truth. Scripture calls them strongholds—fortresses built with lies that keep God's love at a distance. But they can come down—by the authority of Christ, they must come down. Every lie, every wall, every self-protective vow has an expiration date in the presence of truth.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments… bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
—2 Corinthians 10:4–5, NKJV

Every lie you've believed about yourself, every vow you've made in pain, every identity you've accepted that contradicts God's heart for you—these can be renounced and replaced. You have authority in Christ to break agreement with lies and align yourself with truth.

Encountering Love – Healing the Heart

Sometimes, we need more than theology. We need encounter. A moment where truth becomes touch, where the God of love meets us in the most unlovable places.


Ask God, "Where were You when I felt most unloved?" Wait. Listen. Let Him show you. Picture Jesus with you in a memory where you felt rejected or abandoned. What is He doing? What is He saying? If love had a shape or a sound or a feeling, what would it look like for you?

What would it look like to let God father you today?

This is what healing begins to feel like—being held by a love that never left.

You are not asking for too much. You are not too hard to love. You are not disqualified. God doesn't love the idea of you. He loves you—messy, complicated, beautifully human you.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in…
—Revelation 3:20, NKJV

Practical Steps Forward

• Healing requires intention. Write a "Beloved Declaration" and speak it over yourself daily: "I am loved. I am seen. I am chosen. I am delighted in."
  
  

• Start a "Love Journal." Each night, write one moment of the day that reminded you of God's love. It could be a verse, a provision, a sunrise, or a moment of peace. Train your heart to recognize His love in the everyday.
  
  

• Soak in Scripture. Meditate on verses like Romans 8:38-39: Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Let Zephaniah 3:17 wash over you: He will rejoice over you with singing. Allow Isaiah 49:16 to sink deep: I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands.
  

A New Beginning

Father, Abba, I bring You my doubt, my fear, and every place that feels numb or hardened. I want to believe in Your love—not just with my head, but with my heart. Tear down every wall I've built to protect myself from pain that has also kept You out.

Forgive me for seeing You through the lens of my wounds and not the lens of Your truth. I choose to renounce every lie that says I'm unworthy, unloved, forgotten, or too far gone. I break agreement with rejection, abandonment, shame, and mistrust.

I receive Your love—not because I've earned it, but because You are love. Begin healing my heart. Help me trust again. Show me how to walk as Your beloved child. Let this be a new beginning.

In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Here's something to carry with you:

What if the very love you think you don't deserve is the only thing that can heal the wounds that make you feel that way?

Let that settle deep. Let that invite you closer. You are more loved than you know.

With fierce love and unwavering grace,
Dr. Cyndi Matos