Healing Your Story: Breaking Free from False Identities and Walking in Hope
When the Past Writes the Present—But Doesn’t Have to Write the Future
Sarah sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the worn-out pages of her journal. The words etched in ink were a painful reflection of the years she had spent believing she wasn’t enough. Memories of childhood rejection, failed relationships, and self-sabotage filled the pages like a tragic script she had unknowingly rehearsed for decades. Every time she tried to step into something new, something better, a familiar voice in her mind whispered, Why bother? You always mess things up.
She thought of all the times she had settled—for a job that drained her, for friendships that took more than they gave, for a life that felt small and safe. Deep down, she longed for more, but the fear of failing, of being exposed as unworthy, kept her locked in a cycle she didn’t know how to break.
Then, one day, she heard something that stopped her in her tracks: You are not what happened to you. You are not the lies you believe. Your story can isn’t over.
It was a simple statement, but it cracked open something inside of her. Could it really be possible to walk in a new identity? Could she truly unlearn the beliefs that had shaped her world and embrace something different?
The Lies That Shaped You Don’t Have to Define You
We all have a story. Some chapters are filled with joy, while others are marked by pain, betrayal, rejection, or disappointment. Many of us carry wounds from the past that shape our present reality in ways we may not even realize. The broken places within us—those deep-seated beliefs about who we are, what we deserve, and what is possible for us—often dictate the course of our lives.
As a soul care therapist, I have seen this pattern time and time again. People unknowingly seek out experiences that confirm their wounded beliefs. The woman who believes she is unworthy of love repeatedly finds herself in relationships that reinforce that lie. The man who was told as a child that he would never succeed still plays small, afraid to step into his God-given destiny. The person who grew up in a home where anger ruled now struggles to believe in a gentle, loving Father.
Know this… your story is not set in stone. It can be healed, revised, and restored. And through the power of Christ, you can walk in a spirit of hope while building something new.
You Can’t Be Who You Were and Who You’re Becoming at the Same Time
From the moment we enter the world, we begin absorbing messages—about ourselves, about others, and about God. Some of these messages are true, affirming, and aligned with God’s design for us. But others are distorted, shaped by wounds, disappointments, unmet needs, and the whispered deceptions of the enemy. These false beliefs take root early, often before we even realize they exist, and they begin to shape how we see ourselves and the world around us.
A child who grows up in a home where love is conditional may come to believe, I have to earn love. If I’m not good enough, I will be rejected. A teenager who experiences repeated failures may begin to think, I’ll never be successful. I shouldn’t even try. Someone who has faced repeated betrayals may assume, People can’t be trusted. I have to protect myself.
These thoughts, often unspoken and unexamined, quietly shape the direction of our lives. The Bible warns us of this powerful truth:
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
—Proverbs 23:7, NKJV
What we believe—especially about ourselves—shapes how we live. If we see ourselves as broken, unworthy, or incapable, we will make choices that reinforce those beliefs. If we expect rejection, we’ll interpret even neutral moments as proof we don’t belong. If we believe God is distant or uninterested, we’ll struggle to receive His love—even as He’s reaching toward us.
This isn’t just a spiritual reality—it’s one of the most destructive patterns I see in the lives of those I work with. The mind is wired to seek confirmation for what it already believes. When we carry false identities or wounded beliefs, our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors begin to revolve around them. We either avoid what we’re afraid to lose, or attach to what confirms the pain we’ve come to expect.
The woman who believes she’s unlovable gravitates toward people who cannot truly love her. The man who feels like a failure never risks stepping into purpose. These patterns don’t just happen—they're built on inner agreements, often made long ago, that shape the story we live out today. And unless they’re broken, we’ll keep reliving what Jesus already died to set us free from.
The enemy, knowing the power of belief, works tirelessly to implant and reinforce these lies. Jesus warned us:
He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it.
—John 8:44, NKJV
A belief may have shaped you, but it does not have to define you. No matter how long you have lived under a false identity, God’s truth has the power to uproot every lie and set you free. Transformation begins at the root. It’s not enough to change behaviors—we must allow God to heal the core beliefs that have kept us bound.
Hear me. The enemy does not have the final say. God’s truth is greater than our distorted beliefs, and His Word has the power to rewire our thinking.
Healing and Restoring Your Story
The powerful love of God and the work of Jesus on the Cross already determined that you do not have to remain bound to your old story. You can heal, renew your mind, and build a life of hope and freedom.
1. Identify the False Narrative
The first step is to recognize the story you have been telling yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the lies that have shaped your identity. Journaling can help you uncover patterns:
What do I believe about myself?
What do I believe about God?
Where did these beliefs come from?
How have they affected my choices?
2. Replace Lies with Truth
Once you identify the lies, replace them with God’s truth. The Bible tells us:
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
—Romans 12:2, NKJV
The mind is not fixed. God created it to be renewed. Because of neuroplasticity—the brain’s God-given ability to rewire and heal—every time you choose truth, new pathways are formed. Old lies lose their grip, and life-giving reality begins to take root. Speak truth over yourself daily:
I am loved and chosen by God. —Ephesians 1:4
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. —Psalm 139:14
God has good plans for me. —Jeremiah 29:11
3. Choose New Experiences
Healing requires action. If your past has been filled with experiences of rejection, choose to step into environments where you can build healthy relationships and belonging. If you have feared failure, take bold steps forward in faith. Trust that God is walking into your new story with you.
Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. —Isaiah 43:19, NKJV
4. Walk in a Spirit of Hope
Hope is a powerful force. It is not wishful thinking; it is a confident expectation of God’s goodness. Healing of the soul takes time, but every small victory is a step toward wholeness. When setbacks come, refuse to go back to old patterns. Instead, declare:
Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God. —Psalm 42:11, NKJV
A New Story Awaits
Your past does not define your future. What the enemy meant for harm, God can turn for good. No matter how many years you have spent living under the weight of false beliefs, today can be the day you choose a different path.
Healing is a journey, but with every renewed thought, every new experience, and every step of faith, you are building something beautiful—a life free from limitation, rooted in truth, and filled with hope.
What new story will you begin to write?
Take a moment to reflect on your life story. Are there places where you have unknowingly confirmed a false belief? Where is God inviting you to embrace a new narrative? Journal your thoughts and ask the Lord to reveal His truth over your life. I invite you to pray the prayer below.
There’s More to Your Story Than What’s Been Written So Far
Father God,
I come before You, heart open, hands lifted, and soul ready to be made new. I break every agreement I’ve made with the lies of the enemy—every label, every false identity, every whisper that told me I was less than who You created me to be. I renounce the names I was never meant to wear. I lay down the shame, the striving, the self-hate, the fear. I silence the voice of the accuser by standing on the voice of Truth—Your Word over me.
Jesus, You took my old nature to the Cross, and I refuse to carry what You already crucified. I step out of the grave of who I was and into the resurrection power of who I am in You.
I declare that I am a new creation.
I choose to walk in Your truth, renew my mind with Your Word, and live from the identity You died to give me.
Holy Spirit, fill every place that was once occupied by lies. Wash over my thoughts, flood my heart with hope, and anchor me in Your love.
Teach me to see myself as Heaven sees me—not broken, but beloved. Not bound, but chosen. Not rejected, but redeemed.
Today is a line in the sand. I will no longer live according to the old pattern. I am stepping into the new—on purpose, with purpose, by the power of Your Spirit.
In the Mighty Name of Jesus,
Amen
I’m standing with you—not just in agreement, but in expectation. That every false name falls. That every broken identity is restored. That the real you—redeemed, chosen, and whole—rises and begins to live fully alive in Christ.
With fierce love and unwavering grace,
Dr. Cyndi Matos
